Uncommon Ground: Don't Knock the Box
Ok, people. My other half has given you her spill about the Xbox, but what she failed to mention is the time she spends watching "Real Housewives of Atlanta" or HGTV or all those other shows that most men really could careless whether they aired or not. But, enough of my evening the score though; let me get to the real reason for this post. I have been told that women really make the statement that they would not be with a "Grown Man" who plays video games. If you are this woman, I want you to know that is the retardedest statement you can ever make. I know games take up a lot of time that WOMEN feel that we could use doing something proooooductive, but what you women have to understand is that what makes a happy man makes a happy woman; not the other way around. Let me explain before you go all "No He Didn't" on me.
See for years and years people have been teaching young men and women that a happy wife makes a happy marriage..................B#%L$H!T. This saying derives from the assumption that if the wife is happy, then she will have sex with the husband on a regular basis and that sex is the only thing that makes a man happy. Well, as much as I love sexing my wife, it is not the only thing that makes me happy. Furthermore, no matter how happy a man makes a woman, she still is not going to have sex with him when, where and how he wants on his command...so all the happy hard work would be for nothing. On the other hand, if a man is happy in his marriage, he will do whatever his wife ask him such as cut the grass, wash the car, wash the dishes, sweep the floor, etc. How does this relate to the Xbox, you ask? Well, here it is...so pay attention.
For guys like me, the Xbox is what we use to fill the competitive void that is left when we get married or involved in serious relationship. This ain't Twitter, but follow me on this one, OK? From the time a man is born, he is in full competitive mode i.e. who's the fastest, who's the strongest, who's the tallest, who can piss the longest (yes this is an official sport look it up) who can get the most numbers at the 7th grade dance, who has the fastest car, who has the biggest rims, the list goes on and on ladies and the only thing that can validate these victories or defeats is the bragging rights that are earned and respected by the Real N!gg@ Record Book (yes it does exist look it up and white people are included) When a guy gets married he has to give up most of his competitive ways I mean really we can't chase women anymore, we can't spend the "family money on cars and rims, we can't have pissing contest because youuuuu think it's embarrassing so what do we do, turn to video games. It's the only thing we can do to continue to earn bragging rights over our peers that are responsible, respectable, and not perverse. So ladies take this into consideration, when you leave your man with his friends and you know that all they do is play video games you have nothing at all to worry about because you know how much time we spend on the game and you know that we aren't doing anything else. If you want a man who doesn't play video games let's go down the list of things he may be doing when you are not watching. Texting or Facebooking the girl he met at the club, the club that he went to because he wasn't at home playing video games, maybe he is watching porn, maybe it's gay porn who knows what an idle mind wants, maybe he's at the strip club, maybe he's talking to his friend about the times he had with the females before you, maybe he is comparing Beyonce's ass to Rihanna's ass or maybe just looking at Nicki Minaj's ass (we men like ass), maybe he's flirting with the cashier at Wal-Mart (this list goes on and on as well) this is the moral right here. When a man doesn't play video games, he gets bored; when he gets bored, he goes to the club; when he goes to the club, he drinks liquor; when he drinks liquor, he gets aroused; when he gets aroused, he finds a jumpoff; when he finds a jumpoff, he ends up with a baby mama. Do you want your man to end up with a baby mama? Your Call.
Mr. Marcus
See for years and years people have been teaching young men and women that a happy wife makes a happy marriage..................B#%L$H!T. This saying derives from the assumption that if the wife is happy, then she will have sex with the husband on a regular basis and that sex is the only thing that makes a man happy. Well, as much as I love sexing my wife, it is not the only thing that makes me happy. Furthermore, no matter how happy a man makes a woman, she still is not going to have sex with him when, where and how he wants on his command...so all the happy hard work would be for nothing. On the other hand, if a man is happy in his marriage, he will do whatever his wife ask him such as cut the grass, wash the car, wash the dishes, sweep the floor, etc. How does this relate to the Xbox, you ask? Well, here it is...so pay attention.
For guys like me, the Xbox is what we use to fill the competitive void that is left when we get married or involved in serious relationship. This ain't Twitter, but follow me on this one, OK? From the time a man is born, he is in full competitive mode i.e. who's the fastest, who's the strongest, who's the tallest, who can piss the longest (yes this is an official sport look it up) who can get the most numbers at the 7th grade dance, who has the fastest car, who has the biggest rims, the list goes on and on ladies and the only thing that can validate these victories or defeats is the bragging rights that are earned and respected by the Real N!gg@ Record Book (yes it does exist look it up and white people are included) When a guy gets married he has to give up most of his competitive ways I mean really we can't chase women anymore, we can't spend the "family money on cars and rims, we can't have pissing contest because youuuuu think it's embarrassing so what do we do, turn to video games. It's the only thing we can do to continue to earn bragging rights over our peers that are responsible, respectable, and not perverse. So ladies take this into consideration, when you leave your man with his friends and you know that all they do is play video games you have nothing at all to worry about because you know how much time we spend on the game and you know that we aren't doing anything else. If you want a man who doesn't play video games let's go down the list of things he may be doing when you are not watching. Texting or Facebooking the girl he met at the club, the club that he went to because he wasn't at home playing video games, maybe he is watching porn, maybe it's gay porn who knows what an idle mind wants, maybe he's at the strip club, maybe he's talking to his friend about the times he had with the females before you, maybe he is comparing Beyonce's ass to Rihanna's ass or maybe just looking at Nicki Minaj's ass (we men like ass), maybe he's flirting with the cashier at Wal-Mart (this list goes on and on as well) this is the moral right here. When a man doesn't play video games, he gets bored; when he gets bored, he goes to the club; when he goes to the club, he drinks liquor; when he drinks liquor, he gets aroused; when he gets aroused, he finds a jumpoff; when he finds a jumpoff, he ends up with a baby mama. Do you want your man to end up with a baby mama? Your Call.
Mr. Marcus